Blessed to be Resilient: 3 Key Factors of How it Works (at any age)
Resilience is more common because that’s how God designed us
Striving for a blessed and happy life doesn’t work; it’s a benefit of resilience
Scriptures to explore how we’re blessed in the mess
Three key factors of resilience that work at any age (relationships, tools, faith)
Many scientists will say trauma is complex, but when talking about trauma recovery, most of the research shows that ...
"Resilience" is the most common outcome observed ... it is more of the norm than not.
Consider what this means in God’s wonderful human design and a grace perspective in our challenges. We’re designed to thrive in both the good and the bad … when it’s messy.
Resilience is a skill and part of your character. It’s not just about seeking happiness in God's blessings but also recognizing those blessings in life's challenges and uncertainties. True resilience brings contentment and strength through Christ in every situation (Phil. 4:13).
Let's examine why chasing happiness often fails, what the Bible says about God's blessings in tough times, and three important aspects of being resilient at any age that can improve happiness (along the way).
Striving for the “Happy God, Happy Life” doesn’t create resilience; it causes internal tension(science supports it).
A blessed life in God isn't just about being happy, healthy, safe, or free from problems. If you believe God is only linked to happiness, then painful times can challenge your understanding (and theology) of Him. This can make life dualistic, which causes a lot of internal tension and doubt (or leads to more naval gazing, “what’s wrong with me”).
Whether things are going well or not, striving for this “happy God, happy life” can make things worse (especially if you are already dealing with mental health challenges). Studies on “happiness” often reveal that the more you chase, strive, or pursue “happiness,” the worse you feel.
“Valuing happiness was associated with lower hedonic balance, lower psychological well-being, less satisfaction with life, and higher levels of depression symptoms.” (1)
This striving for happiness overlaps with a psychological concept called the “arrival fallacy.” Dr. Tal Ben Shahar created this theory, meaning, “Life will be better only when …” Chasing happiness through “arrival fallacy” focuses too much on achievements and success, which can negatively impact our mental and emotional health.
The “happiness” studies will explain that you can’t have “happiness” without “unhappiness.” You can’t appreciate life without its challenges. So, happiness may be a benefit along the way, not the goal. God knows that! We just need a different perspective of ourselves, God, and the right tools and people around us to be in the process.
Blessed in the mess!
The Bible reveals a God in and with us — celebrating victories and with us through messy events and downfalls. Somehow, these “afflictions” can deepen meaning and purpose. You’ll even see the Psalmist saying, "It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees” (Psalm 119:71). If you explore the research and studies on post-traumatic growth, you’ll see this concept spelled out.
If we face pain, struggles, and challenges in life, why wouldn’t God make us strong and resilient? Why wouldn't God be part of our journey to resilience, both inside and out?
You can read these verses to gain a deeper understanding of God's support and resilience for His children, as well as to recognize His grace.
Psalm 23; 29:11; 34:15-17; 125:1-5 (Hebrews 12:28)
Isaiah 26:3; 41:10; 43:2
John 14:16-18; 16:33
Acts 13:50-52, 14:22
2 Corinthians 7:6, 12:9
1 Peter 4:12-13, 5:10 and James 1:2-4
Studies reveal three factors for resilience (trauma recovery) among children (and works for adults).
When looking at studies on kids healing from trauma (adversity), here are three key factors and how they relate to any adult: (2)
(1) Relationships
Having positive influences (family, adults, older peers) operating effectively “stacks the scale” with positive weight and optimizes resilience. Without them, it "creates the conditions for poor outcomes and diminished life prospects."
(2) Mastery skills
"Helping children build a sense of mastery over their life circumstances. Those who believe in their capacity to overcome hardships and guide their destiny are far more likely to adapt positively to adversity."
(3) Faith
The supportive context of affirming faith or cultural traditions and children solidly grounded within such traditions are more likely to respond effectively when challenged by a major stressor or a severely disruptive experience."
Resilience is for any age; this applies to all!
The research shows that in the face of adversity, these same key factors work for anyone. The study points out, "the capabilities that underlie resilience can be strengthened at any age."
These are core principles we provide throughout our resources and curriculums. Incorporating these three factors, we often hear many stories of transformed lives.
Share this with others to have a new and exciting dialogue!
Joe Padilla | Grace Alliance
(1) Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can Seeking Happiness Make People Happy? Paradoxical Effects of Valuing Happiness. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 11(4), 807.
(2) National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. (2015). Supportive Relationships and Active Skill-Building Strengthen the Foundations of Resilience: Working Paper 13. http://www.developingchild.harvard.edu
