5 Ways to Understand God's Comfort in Depression and Anxiety
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."
- 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
What does the "God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles" look like as we journey through mental and emotional health challenges?
While I don't claim to know what goes into Biblical “comfort,” let’s explore what comfort can mean for us and how we can comfort others.
1. The not-so-good way to do comfort (the science of why “spiritual fighting” can cause more anxiety).
Stressors cause our brains to predict and protect against negative outcomes (spiritual, physical, situational, etc.). This protection involves preparing for a whole being (metabolic) response to resist and be resilient through it (i.e., adaptation syndrome). It’s a natural preparatory stress state to endure through the “challenge.”
For example, when we experience stress, cortisol is a hormone released to help us resist and be resilient. Still, in prolonged stress states, cortisol becomes a neurotoxin in our brains, especially in our hippocampus (the region associated with memory). This is partly why many people seem more foggy or forgetful with prolonged stress, anxiety, depression, etc. All this can cause us to feel exhausted (i.e., stress hormones wear down the brain/body, and new studies on “habituation” — becoming desensitized to stressors — suggest that it can cause an imbalance in the metabolic system and more pressure on the cardiovascular system).
This reactive state can get us “spiritually fighting” against our “pain,” activating more stress hormones (cortisol) and staying on high alert.
“Spiritual fighting” causes more exhaustion.
Reactive “spiritual” fighting is a natural stress reaction to move ourselves back into safety. Spiritual fighting is not bad; it’s in how you do it from safety vs. getting more “safety.”
With “spiritual” battling, the challenge is that some don’t know when it’s safe again … so they stay on high alert and in stress/fear mode.
It’s exhausting because it’s reinforcing that we’re somehow more vulnerable than safe … so we do more “spiritual works” to free ourselves and get God to do something more (i.e., the idea that spiritual disciplines = God’s blessings; we end putting more emphasis on the “spiritual disciplines” as the formula to safety, God’s blessing and favor).
Thus, knowing when it’s safe can be tricky, especially when anxiety and depression can numb mood and emotions.
Comfort acknowledges and accepts our pain - not trying to bypass it or avoid it by “faith,” praying it away, rebuking it, or some other spiritual exercise to ameliorate it.
We'll be able to explore examples and how-to below.
2. Comfort is Jesus validating our pain (the beginning of a “breakthrough” in and with Jesus …validation is not defeat).
Fighting is not so much about being reactive; it’s learning to be responsive from a position in Christ. It’s knowing Jesus has already broken through to us, not trying to get more breakthroughs from Him. So, we validate our pain from our new creation reality already being “in Christ.” This is our new constant: we’re learning, not earning. Feeling pain is not bad or wrong; we respond by being “in Christ.”
Validation means recognizing, confirming, establishing, and legitimizing the worthiness of a condition, experience, emotion, or concern. Isn’t it funny we like to be validated for our success but not so much for our pain … we bypass it!
However, one of the best ways to begin any healing process for our brains and bodies (from stress) is to acknowledge the pain as a legitimate, expected, healthy, and worthy response to the condition, experience, emotion, or concern. When we validate, it allows our brain and body to move from stress states into healing states — whether the pain is completely gone, we position our brain and bodies to be in a better response state.
Jesus validates our pain ... what bothers us bothers Jesus!
The key is to respond to our pain from a secure confidence (perspective) “in Christ,” not reacting as we’re left to fight on our own “to find God in our crisis.” If we are in pain, Christ is in our pain, too … the God who will journey through with us! In theology, this concept is called, “Divine Passibility.”
"When Jesus saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them because they were harassed and helpless (distressed and dispirited), like sheep without a shepherd." - Matthew 9:36
Jesus sees the pain and wants to be with us as a safe, secure, soothing, loving shepherd! In other words, in your mental and emotional stress, Jesus doesn’t need you to work harder to get His attention (spiritual disciplines to get Him to be pleased enough to bless us with a breakthrough). He already has compassion on us … what’s bothering us is bothering Him, too!
3. Comfort is Jesus reminding us we belong and have an unshakable grace… It’s not a passing feeling.
When you read through 2 Corinthians 4, the Apostle Paul talks a lot about his pain (which can make anyone discouraged, distressed, and dispirited). Still, he spoke about his pain from having an unshakable, unmovable, and un-removable treasure within (2 Cor 4:7).
Paul knew that he (and we) would still experience the human condition and its accompanying pains, but from a new comfort “in Christ” context, our new source of strength within.
We have been given an unshakable grace that provides us with an unshakable faith … we have an unshakable God and Kingdom. Paul described it as a “treasure within,” a comfort that was a strength and resiliency for every pressure he faced. Paul wasn't left to his willpower to say, "I'm fine" (2 Cor. 4:8).
So, with the powerful treasure of comfort, compassion, and resilient love, Paul continues to VALIDATE the pains he (we) feels with an unshakable grace … being “in Christ.”
"We are afflicted, but not crushed, perplexed, but not despairing ..." (2 Cor 4:8).
From this, we can highlight the following:
+ Paul VALIDATES as humans, we will have afflictions, but this comforting treasure (Jesus, grace) within won't leave us crushed.
+ Paul VALIDATES we will be perplexed with confusion or even doubt, but this new source of treasure within won't leave us in despair. This treasure within is what it means to be '“in Christ” for every life harassment and feeling of helplessness!
AND just so you can see more!
Here again, Paul in 2 Corinthians 6:9-10 says …
“… as dying yet behold, we live; as punished yet not put to death, as sorrowful yet always rejoicing …”
Paul is not denying his pain (very depressive type of pain). Instead, he validates the pain but doesn’t let it define him. Paul allows his “in Christ” to describe and comfort him … which leads him to gratitude! Not more spiritual work fighting … this spiritual fighting is standing confident “in Christ!”
God knows and VALIDATES our human condition our pain, and doesn’t ignore it. He doesn’t expect us to be pain-free or upset when we struggle mentally and emotionally (spiritually). He wants us to know and be comforted with Him through the journey … not fighting more for Him.
So, maybe “fighting” is more about our perspective than our performance! I write more about this “fighting for God” vs. comfort concept in this article.
One caveat:
Even if our pain comes from irrational, negative, and anxious over-thinking, depression, stress, etc., that’s not sin or pushing God away. We can acknowledge and validate the pain and be honest about how it makes us feel; it’s not affirming or defining who we are. Validation is a form of compassion to feel with and say,
"It’s okay to feel this way. It's not wrong or sinful to feel this way. It’s not who I am but how anyone would respond or react to this stress."
This brings relief and comfort!
4. Comfort is Jesus sharing our pain with empathy (how attachment theory works “in Christ”).
Affirmation is stating what is true, a fact, to give weight and substance to value or truth … and offering support and encouragement! Jesus is no stranger to pain. The full display of love is how Jesus entered our humanity, with all it’s pain, so that he could be intimately acquainted as our healing help … full sympathy and empathy to help (see Hebrews 2:9-18 and 4:15-16).
As said before, our comfort is the affirmation we are “in Christ.” From a scientific or psychological standpoint, it touches on the four principles of healthy relational attachment.
1) God SEES (understands) our human pain and meets us with His empathy. It hurts when we feel misunderstood or passed over. He cares and won’t turn away (John 14:18).
2) God is SAFE with our pain — being honest with our pain is vulnerable, and we’re selective about who we open up to, so it says a lot about the one we do share with — and Jesus is safe; we don’t have to be scared of Him (Matthew 11:28-29).
3) God is SECURE by helping us create stability and knowing He’ll be with us through the journey. Soldiers who have served on the frontlines together - share a deep bond! Jesus is ready for the journey with you (John 16:33).
4) God is SOOTHING and helps us work toward calm, peace, and rest - a grace-filled life. He wants to calm our nerves (physically and emotionally)! It’s not time to fast; it’s time He wants us to get good sleep and eat well … calming our whole being and our whole heart (and mind) … “Rest for your soul” means for your whole-health, your whole being (John 14:27).
5. Comfort is Jesus affirming and revealing how we are worth everything to Him! You have to flip the script to see it!
In Luke 15, we find Jesus relating three stories that affirm how He/God sees our worth to Himself … He is like a suffering shepherd, woman, and father.
God painfully mourns any thought of separation and always wants us to know we belong with Him. Chew on that for a while!
For example …
a. The sheep, coin, and son always belonged! They were part of an original flock, a complete collection of wealth, and a loving family. The shepherd, the woman, and the father did not feel complete without them (read the stories and pick up the emotions behind the Shepherd looking for his lost sheep, the woman searching for her lost coin, and the father waiting for the return of his son).
b. The sheep, coin, and son never lost their worth! At no point in the story did they lose their original value or worth. Whatever is of extreme value and worth, you’ll do anything to find it and get it back … the sheep, coin, and son were loved and highly valued, and seeing them returned was the priority … for the son, it was being restored to his “sonship,” not servanthood.
c. The sheep, coin, and son parables responded to the religious leaders — they only saw “sinners” — Jesus saw His very own! Jesus told these stories in response to the grumbling religious leaders saying, "This man (Jesus) receives sinners and eats with them" (Luke 15:2). Jesus was conveying that he saw and identified Himself with those who were harassed and distressed, helpless and dispirited. He wanted to be with them (affirmed in belonging) … Jesus was not complete without them!
He had come to affirm that we have always belonged to Him! And each story ends with a celebration ... because His joy is now complete.
Think, He is celebrating you - not condemning you.
Now, the big question is:… do these concepts eliminate distress, depression, anxiety, or mental or emotional pain?
No! Of course not - because it’s an “in Christ” perspective shift, not a 1, 2, 3 overnight solution. This is a reminder that as we face mental health challenges (or any challenge), our starting point is from safety - all religious effort or work to please God has been eliminated. We have nothing to fear (1 John 4:18).
This is for brainstorming from a new perspective, like changing the lens on a kaleidoscope. May it help you discover more comfort within your journey … to realize your wholeness. As I often share,
“We’re on a wholeness journey, not a brokenness journey.”
Overall, comfort is not perfect … it’s a practice.
In a lot of ways, it’s a learned skill! Jesus said it was going to be a learned experience …
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and LEARN FROM ME, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls …” — Matthew 11:28-30.
And for me, I’m still learning.
Joe Padilla | The Grace Alliance
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